Featured

Depression : The Prodigy of Suppression

The importance and need for a good support system, which begins at home.

Advertisements

This year hasn’t been a good one for the Linkin park fans, as they recently faced the tragic end of their beloved lead singer, Chester Bennington, whose death was a result of depression. This brought together a lot of people, who agreed about the fact that depression kills too, and in a way, is far more worse than a disease condition.Depression-1.jpg

While depression can push a person deep into the cave of emotions, we often fail to realise the fact that it is a result of suppression that people fall prey to depression. Very often in life, irrespective of who the person is to us, we tend to neither have time, nor make time for the person we care about. It’s all just in words. The words ‘I love You’ just hang in the air, when they are not expressed by the simple gestures that people would appreciate. A shoulder to cry on or an ear that would listen to their problems, might be all that they require to help them get through their battle.

depression-meditation-8

Most people go through this phase of loneliness where they are stuck in a box, with no one to get them out of it. ‘Only with their own effort can they come out,’ is what the people around them try to tell them. But does anyone ever really understand how it feels to be stuck in a box, all alone, with no food to feed the hunger of companionship, no water to quench that burning thirst you feel as you gulp down the last bit of saliva your glands have secreted, with no light to help you figure out where you can start trying to open the box from and set yourself free?

Well, that’s exactly how some people feel, when the people around them, just stay around, right outside the box, and jeer at them and mock them, calling them all sorts of hurtful names. Instead of the mockery, why not help the person stuck in the dark, asphyxiating box by guiding them through their situation? Why not help them express, instead of making them supress?

out-of-the-darkness-healing-from-depression-960x640

All those times when they were walking through the dark and lonely tunnel, all they ever needed to hear from those around them was, “I’m here for you. Fear not, for there is light at the end of every tunnel, there surely is Hope at the end of your darkest moments!” And all they probably should be told is, “When you are walking through the darkest tunnel of your life, you should keep walking, maybe the tunnel will not end in a couple of hours, maybe you will be walking all alone, but if you keep walking straight, you will definitely reach the light. And that’s what we must strive to find. The light. All we must do, is strive till we find the light.”

IMG_0124.jpg

If you ever find yourself drowning in the deep end of the pool just because you have given up swimming and not because you don’t know how to swim, look around you and see. Through the muddled vision of your eyes, now filled with the chlorinated water that is partially infused with negativity, observe. Your ears may be filled with the waters of sorrow you are drowning in and you might not be able to hear, but listen. There are many other drowning souls, just like yourself, lost and lonely, only drowning deeper and needing for some help. Just waiting on somebody to pull them out of the dark waters. Now there is a purpose! A reason why you should live. Only a person going through it can understand the other person on a very basic level.

421-1024

“Follow the Yellow brick road, Dorothy, and you will reach the Emerald city.” That was one Long walk, indeed! I bet Dorothy would’ve given up too, if it wasn’t for the people she met on the way, The Scarecrow, The Tin Woodsman and The cowardly Lion, she could not have made it to the Emerald City to meet the Wizard. It was a good thing Dorothy had friends who walked with her, though they had their own reasons to meet the wizard, without them, the story would have ended up as one in which was a Depressed girl who had wished to return to Kansas, but had given up and lost all her hopes which she could have otherwise mustered up, had she had a good support system.

We live in a world deficit of Good support systems. Support system, yes, we do have those. But a good one is what we do not have, and what we will never have, if we continue to ignore our companions, our loved ones and most importantly, our children, when they cry out for help. Why is it that we wait until a loved one becomes a past tense, to realise that they were going through something that we will never come to see from their perspective?

Rear View of Group of Friends Hugging

Why can’t we start seeing things from their perspective and just cut people some slack, when they say they are depressed, instead of pushing them towards suppression?

If you are a parent, and you aren’t spending enough time with your child, I’m sure your child is not going to come and tell you that they’re going through a hard time. But if you only spent some time with your kid, you would know exactly what they’re going through. Well, don’t blame them when they turn to seek love from a handsome/ pretty ‘friend’, or comfort in the arms of a substance, because had you just been there for them and fulfilled your duties as a parent, your child wouldn’t be who he/she is right now.

download

Depression may not be considered as disease by layman, but it does qualify as a Grim reaper. It’s about time we all realised that when we lose someone we love, more than the pain of losing them, it is the guilt of all the things we could have done better, that will weigh us down. The guilt will eat through our very soul, until you get stuck in a box and this time, it is you.

Anchors And Cornerstones

From the moment we’re conceived, we are anchored. As foetuses, inside our mother’s womb, the placenta anchors us to our mothers and our mothers are our lifeline. After we’re born, though anatomically independent, we are still dependent on our elders for intellectual, moral and emotional support. Our family and friends are our cornerstones on whom we build our foundation in the process of growing up. Eventually though, we begin to walk in our own paths, ones that appear in front of us as we continue the journey of life.

We drift away like a ship mastered by an amateur captain in uncharted waters. The high tides of life rock our ship and very often, we deem our ship to be too lost at sea to get help, to know the way back to the shore. For those of us who acknowledge the presence of the wireless anchors in our lives, our good support system who also become our lighthouse, we get the guidance we need to come back to the shore.

As for the ships that drift away far enough to hurt and self destruct, without even being aware of the fact that they are heading towards a storm, are the ones that are the exceptions to being ‘let down’, for lack of a good support system. Despite being surrounded by people who are ready to pull them up, they don’t ask for help, because they don’t want their support system to get hurt by what hurt them. This ship doesn’t go to the shore, despite knowing where the shore is and how to get to it, because they fear they’ll bring the storm to the shore.

We’re so used to having grown-ups as our support system, that we very often fail to see the fact that the support system needs support too. No one is immune to depression. There is no age limit for it and it has no expiry date. Each of us fight it at our own levels. Adult depression is something teenagers don’t take the time to understand, all because we are busy being depressed ourselves and not for a second realising that the people whose attention we demand, are people who also need our attention.

A good support system is not just one that you are benefitted from. It also includes being there for them when they need you. That is why humans can never be independent. We are and will always be interdependent.

Ultimately, at the end of it all, we come to realise, that the only way out of depression, is through it. There is no easy way out of it. For some, the signs are obvious and with some good support, they find the sun beyond the dark clouds. For others, who don’t talk about it, for fear of letting the sad-monster loose, it is either suppression, or they deal with it.

On the context of an upcoming examination, my father once told me, “Consider your subjects as a whole cake. Finish it piece after piece. One piece at a time.” This is exactly how we deal with the issues in our lives. Hard as it is, we deal with them one day at a time. Not thinking too much about the future and wasting the present time worrying about what may come. As for the ghosts of our past which relentlessly haunt us, despite our best efforts to forgive the person and forget the issue, we realise that the theory of it is a lot easier than the practical part. And hence, we put a smile on our face every day and show up. We make things work and we learn to deal with pain by taking a step at a time. We may stagger and limp with pain at first, but what we must remember is that it gets better with time. Time heals the pain. The slate is never as clean as it was before it was being written on. But after some time and after working on cleaning it, it does become clean enough to be written on again.

The conjoint efforts of time and the knowledge of the fact that we do have anchors in our lives, will give us the foothold we require to become happy human beings.